this ain't livin': Past and Present

I will probably never know very much about him, which creates a sense of unease as I grow older and turn to thoughts of where I come from, and who I came from. I used to not worry so much about these things, but it turns out that I am even more like my father than I thought; with each passing year I grow more invested in the past, more nostalgic for half-memories, more determined to mull over events long dead and gone. And the people around me with the information I seek are all fading away and dying, creating a sense of urgency that is hard to shake; now or never, but are you ready for what you might find out?